Share review of Rowcroft Hospice

Rowcroft Hospice 2016-10-24 Person 1 5 0

I am utterly disgusted by the attitude of the staff towards my family. My mother was dx with advanced metastatic pancreatic cancer roughly 2 weeks ago at Torbay and given a few weeks to live. After much discussion they arranged for her to be transferred to Rowcroft for her final few weeks as it is impossible for her to receive the intense level of constant care that she needs at home. We were happy for her to go to Rowcroft and so is she. She has received good care and is content and calm and accepting. However, last week we were informed that you were planning on discharging her. I spoke to one member of staff who informed me that plans for this would be made early next week (this one). After explaining our circumstances to another nurse and then a doctor (who I had arranged to call me at a specific time but who then totally ignored this and ended up calling me whilst in the middle of an important meeting) the staff seemed to finally grasp the concept that she cannot be cared for here. It is my house, but that is irrelevant. She cannot be cared for here. We do not have the space, the experience and my father would be her main carer (I am out at meetings practically all week and my brother also works full time) and he is elderly, not in good health and has CHD an abdominal aortic aneurysm and had a carotid endarterectomy on one side of his neck some years ago. I was them threatened with her going to a care home - which was very distressing to hear as my mother was always adamant she would hate to go to one of those and I fear it would significantly shorten her already short life. It was eventually agreed that she remain where she is. She is happy to do so. We are pleased that she is in the right place and receiving the care she needs. We thought that it was all over. However, today we hear that yet again there is talk of her being discharged. Yet again I have to deal with a nurse informing me that you are not a long term care facility and this time I actually get patronised by said nurse telling me that she realises my mother is pretty poorly. She is NOT pretty poorly. She is dying. She has cancer and if she was merely pretty poor then she would have been offered chemo at least, instead of the MDT choosing palliative care only. I admit that I lost my temper, but I will not apologise for that. I am particularly disgusted with the person who put the idea in my mother's head that I am the one who will not let her come home. It is a decision that all my family have made, including my mother. You have not caused added stress and anxiety to my family at a time when we are dealing with the imminent death of my mother. My father is completely exhausted just by visiting her every day and worried that she will be inappropriately discharged. I am angry that he has been made to feel guilty - firstly by refusing to allow the dog to visit her as it would upset her, and now for seemingly not wanting her home. I am completely disgusted by the way my family's wishes have been constantly ignored by the nurses at your hospice. I am angry that we were not contacted before these discussions happened with my mother and also that you are trying to force us into attending a meeting to discuss something that is wholly inappropriate. I am now refusing to engage with anyone from the Hospice. I will not attend any meeting and will not discuss this matter further. I want my family to be left alone and for my mother to not have her hopes raised and them dashed again. If this does not happen then I will take this matter further.